


reciprocity

by orphan_account



Category: Minecraft (Video Game), Video Blogging RPF
Genre: Fluff and Angst, Gen, Implied Childhood Sexual Abuse, Panic Attacks, Past Rape/Non-con, Platonic Cuddling, Sharing a Bed
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2021-03-09
Updated: 2021-03-09
Packaged: 2021-03-15 12:01:51
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,043
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/29933124
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: sapnap knows how this goes. he's been here a thousand times before. he likes physical contact, he asks to be held, he pays the price. why would dream be any different?
Relationships: Clay | Dream & Sapnap (Video Blogging RPF)
Comments: 2
Kudos: 21





	reciprocity

**Author's Note:**

> ventfic. please be careful if this material can be triggering to you.  
> if you recognize my writing style no you don't.

They're lounging on the couch, watching a movie Sapnap has long since lost interest in. He aches to be held, skin tingling as he thinks about hugging Dream. There's a respectable distance between them, currently, Dream leaning on the side of the couch and Sapnap slouched in the middle. 

He's good friends with Dream. He knows if he asks, Dream will probably give him the hug he craves. Still, there's a niggling feeling in the back of his brain screaming at him not to. But his skin tingles, and his chest hurts. And Sapnap wants to be held. 

"Hey, Dream," he murmurs, just loud enough to be heard over the tv. 

"Yeah?" Dream says, turning to look at him. Sapnap gulps down the nervousness in his throat. 

"Can I have a hug?" he asks, voice smaller than intended. 

"Yeah, come on," Dream leans back a little further on the couch and pats his lap, legs spreading to make room for Sapnap. 

Sapnap lays his head on Dream's chest, the rest of his body splayed behind him. He can hear the drumming beat of Dream's heart, slow and steady and calming. He relaxes into Dream, letting his arms wrap around his friend's body. He thinks he could fall asleep like this, wrapped in Dream's embrace, so very content to be held. 

Dream crosses one leg over Sapnap's middle, hooking the other over his knee. Sapnap exhales into Dream's chest, humming happily. He turns his head and lets himself watch the movie, even if he's not wholly focused on it. Dream wraps his arms around Sapnap, one rubbing circles on his back and the other petting his hair. 

It's nice. Sapnap is in heaven. He thinks if he were a cat, he'd be purring. He half-watches the tv as he lays on Dream, doing his best to remain awake. 

The whisper in the back of his head that this comes with a cost does not leave him. He tries to focus on Dream's heartbeat to calm himself down. At the very least, Dream doesn't notice the ice beginning to cascade through his veins. 

"Your hands are cold," Dream murmurs into his hair. Sapnap responds by stuffing one of his hands up Dream's shirt, laughing at the screech it elicits. 

He lets himself melt into Dream, wholly content where he is. Dream pets his hair and whispers "I love you." Sapnap can feel Dream's voice rumbling in his chest. "I love you too," he whispers back. 

Hours later, he awakens to Dream poking his face. The movie is over and he figures it's time to go to bed. His chest hurts as he detangles himself from Dream, breath hitching as he stands. 

"You okay?" Dream asks, leading Sapnap to the bedroom. Sapnap is sure of where this is going to go. 

"I'm fine," he murmurs, hoping Dream can't hear the wobble in his voice. 

Sapnap lays flat on his back in bed, allowing Dream to curl around him. Dream's arm lays across his chest, Dream's legs wrap around his own. It goes no further. He feels tears pricking at his eyes as his breath begins to hitch. 

Dream can feel it, because he hears his name mumbled sleepily. "Sapnap? What's wrong?" 

Sapnap bites his tongue as a sob tries to worm its way out of his throat. He squeezes his eyes shut and grabs Dream's wrist. Try as he might, he trembles as he slides Dream's hand down his body until it rests on his crotch. 

Dream rips his hand off as though Sapnap had burnt him. He supposes he might as well have. He's filthy, he's disgusting, and Dream is so wonderfully good. 

"Sapnap, what-" 

"It's okay," Sapnap whispers, voice broken and shaky. "You can - you can do what you want. I-" The sob he'd bit back escapes him. "I know how this goes." 

"Wh- Sapnap, I don't get it," Dream says, propping himself up on an elbow. 

Sapnap's hand covers his face as his legs splay open of their own accord, tears spilling down his face. "Please," he sobs, "just get it _over with._ " 

Dream is silent. Sapnap cracks an eye open to watch horror dawn on Dream's face. Not the reaction he expected, but enough to leave him fighting another sob anyways. 

Dream's legs pull away from his own, and the sob escapes him. His other hand covers the rest of his face as he begins to cry in earnest. Why would someone as perfect as Dream want to touch someone as disgusting as him? Why _wouldn't_ someone as perfect as Dream want to take this from him? 

"I'm not gonna fuck you, Sapnap, what the hell?" 

Another sob wracks his body. Is he really so horrid that he's not even fuckable anymore? The notion is as comforting as it is terrifying. Sapnap prided himself on at least being attractive. He wonders if Dream would have preferred him small. So many others did. 

Dream's hand tangles in his hair, running through the short brown locks in an attempt to comfort him. "Why do you think I want to fuck you?" Dream asks, voice far smaller than Sapnap expects. 

"Because," he breathes, "that's how it always goes." 

He watches Dream's brows furrow in confusion. He can't decide if he's jealous or upset. 

"I - when I was little, if I wanted to be held," he starts, pausing to sob once more, "I had to - I had to let them fuck me, Dream," he cries. 

Dream's fingers tighten in his hair for a second. "That's fucked up," Dream says. "That's so fucked up." 

Another sob wracks Sapnap's body. Dream rests a hand on his wrist. 

"Can I hug you?" he asks. "No strings attached, nothing like that. I want to hug you." 

Sapnap nods. Dream pulls him close, laying back down as he tugs one of Sapnap's hands from his face to hold it. Sapnap curls into Dream's chest, letting Dream hook a leg behind his knees to tangle them together. The hand not holding Sapnap's comes to rub comforting circles on his back. Dream's face is buried in Sapnap's hair. 

"I promise I'll never do anything to you that you don't want me to," Dream whispers. Sapnap wraps his arms around Dream as he cries.


End file.
